To parents who are experiencing the loss of a baby

We are so sorry that your baby has died. Those of us involved in the Heaven’s Gain Ministries understand first-hand how devastating a miscarriage at home can be, and are sorry for all you are going through.
Blessings and healing, – Donna and Jim Murphy, Founders

We highly recommend that you make a birth plan for the hospital. Remember that these special and meaningful moments help create lasting memories that bring comfort over time. The birth plan is not written in stone. You can always alter it.  It is important to write down your plans, because while you are experiencing the birth of your baby, you may forget the plans and have regrets. Take your time when making these decisions. Discuss options with your spouse/partner before finalizing any decision.

Here is a link to our fill-in-the-blank template birth plan.

Choose the Information you need (Links below)

Advocates for Parents of Perintal Loss (APPL) areas of service:

• Helps prepare you and your family for the baby’s birth
• Offers gentle support, guidance, and reassurance
• Assists in creating a birth preference plan factoring in knowledge of pros and cons
• Aids in memory making
• Guides and advocates for you
• Acts as a liaison with the medical community (in person only)
• Avails herself for advice before, during, and after the birth of your baby
• Connects you with additional support resources

During the delivery a Heaven’s Gain Ministries Advocate for Parents of Perinatal Loss (APPL) offers gentle support, guidance, advocacy, and reassurance. She helps with memory making and is a liaison with the medical community for the family. She does not give medical advice.

“Our Heaven’s Gain Advocate was incredible. It was such a shock when we found out that our baby had died at 19 weeks. We were scared about how we were going to handle everything at the hospital. We had no idea of how it was going to go. We just wanted to get it over with. She listened to our concerns and put our mind at ease. She helped us find ways to treasure our time with our baby. We had no idea how to prepare for it. The doctor’s office said, ‘let us know if you have any questions,’ but I had no idea what to ask. Donna gave us the information, that we did not know we needed, to prepare for our baby’s birth. She helped us to know what our options were. The information she gave us made us feel really empowered when going into the hospital. The preparation we received made our experience in the hospital much more meaningful. We would recommend the Heaven’s Gain Advisors to anyone who is losing a baby.”

Families who meet with a Heaven’s Gain Ministries Advocate for Parents of Perinatal Loss (APPL) make the best, most informed choices that help enhance a loving encounter with their baby. Planning these meaningful moments help create lasting memories that bring comfort before, during, and after the delivery of their baby.

Our Advocates for Parents of Perinatal Loss, Baby Loss Doulas, and Baby Loss Family Advisors

Donna Murphy has been a Certified Baby Loss Doula and Baby Loss Family Advisor through Loss Doulas International® since 2012. She has worked with many mothers and fathers preparing them for the birth of their baby who has died. She has experience in supporting mothers through stillbirth at a hospital, miscarriage at home or the hospital, and early infant loss of a baby with a poor prenatal diagnosis.

Donna recently developed a training program for women and men to become Advocates for Parents of Perinatal Loss (APPL’s) who can assist families in their community. See the APPL page on our website for more information and to sign up for the training.

Donna has also been instructed in the Resolve Through Sharing Program through the Gunderson Health System and has been trained as a Coordinator.

She is the co-founder and Executive Director of Heaven’s Gain Ministries, and she serves on the advisory board of Rachel’s Gift.

Donna has lost three babies at different stages of pregnancy and has been given a gift in helping families suffering the loss of a baby.

An Advocate for Parents of Perinatal Loss (APPL) serves in these areas:

• Helps prepare you and your family for the baby’s birth
• Offers gentle support, guidance, and reassurance
• Assists in creating a birth preference plan factoring in knowledge of pros and cons
• Aids in memory making
• Guides and advocates for you
• Acts as a liaison with the medical community (in person only)
• Avails herself for advice before, during, and after the birth of your baby
• Connects you with additional support resources
  

  An Advocate for Parents of Perinatal Loss prepares you for the birth. 

  • Usually the hospital will make the room special so people know your baby is being born still, like wings on the door to your hospital room.
  • Your preemie baby may look red because his/her skin may be so thin that you can see the blood under the skin.
  • Your baby’s body may be fragile, requiring special care when handling the baby, especially prior to 32 weeks. We recommend the saline bath, using the vessel if the baby is less than 22 weeks gestation.
  • The baby’s skin may be fragile and the top layer may rub off like skin from a sunburn.
  • Ask the nurse or doctor to call your baby by name.
  • You may want the nurse or doctor to hand you your baby in a blanket so you can open the blanket slowly and look at each beautiful feature of your baby.
  • It is best to bring in a camera with a separate SD card. Having all of the pictures on a special SD card allows you to look at the pictures when you want and not when you are unprepared.
  • Treasure the short time with your baby. Fill out a birth plan, as you may not remember everything you wanted to do with your baby: rock, bath, diaper, dress.
  • Determine what types of memorabilia you would like to keep of your baby: blanket, baby cap, footprints, hospital bracelet, measurements…. There are many of these suggestions in the birth plan that you can just check off and give to your nurse or Baby Loss Doula/ Baby Loss Family Advisor to make sure they are collected if possible.

  Please feel comfortable to call us for assistance when filling out the birth plan. (513) 888-4200

Kim Kelly, CBLFA, APPL